


Incoming Call...

by wheremyinhalerat (bearsquares)



Series: Cracked Actors ['06 Losers AU one-shots] [4]
Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: A WHOLE BUNCH OF SEX, AU, Adult Losers Club (IT), Anal Sex, Bisexuality, F/M, M/M, Masturbation, Multi, OT7, One Shot, Oral Sex, PWP, Polyamory, Recreational Drug Use, Skype, Threesome - F/M/M, Threesome - M/M/M, Vaginal Sex, Voyeurism, again - world's loosest 2k17 - they're closer to my HS fic, poly losers club, probably some pretty good spring rolls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 21:10:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13983387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearsquares/pseuds/wheremyinhalerat
Summary: >Well, they’re going at it.>Get. On. Skype. You. Dick.>Fuck you.---This is filth. It is utter filth and also garbage.I have no excuse for this.Hope y’all remember flip-phones.





	Incoming Call...

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so something I super love about the losers is how they’re all fucking going bonkers and just laugh all the damn time? That was one of my favorite parts of their group feel in the novel. You have these young kids dealing with some majorly Out There shit and they’re finding their own ways to cope with it - childhood resilience and stuff.
> 
> That has nothing to do with this nastiness but it’s why I write them as a bunch of gigglepusses so often.
> 
> Anyway, here's some shit.

>Hey, Stan.

>It’s Rich.

 

>I know, you’re saved in my phone.

 

>How sweet of you <3

>Do you have your laptop?

 

>Yes…

 

>Open up Skype.

 

>Why?

 

>Just do it.

 

Every time Richie told Stan to “just do it”, _shit_ happened. Not regular, silly shit, but some _wild and crazy_ shit that he wasn’t always in the mood for. After a rough flight and an even rougher week, Stan wasn’t feeling much more than a frail desire for spring rolls. His mood was so shitty, in fact, that Eddie and Ben had cleared out of the living room to get a jump on prepping dinner. Now he sat bent up in a cushy armchair feeling anything but cushy.

“What does Richie want?” Ben was stretched across Mike’s couch -- tired, stoned, or both. As far as Stan knew, he, Richie, and Bev were the only ones who smoked pot which was fine as long as they did it away from him.

“How did you know who it was?”

“You looked annoyed,” Ben said with a smirk.

“There are plenty of other people who annoy me, Ben.”

“You’re staring at me.”

“I know.” A litany of wheezing coughs echoed out of the bathroom. “Why is Eddie hacking up a lung, Ben?” Stan asked, completely deadpan.

He swiped his bangs back from his forehead. _He needs a haircut, badly._ “See, if I told you, then you would be even more annoyed than you are now, which is way too annoyed for a nice weekend together.”

Ben was right, _objectively_ , but Stan hated weed and Eddie had asthma so the whole thing was offensive on principal. He was right to be offended. _I’m right, damnit_. His phone vibrated right as Eddie stumbled into the living room. Had his eyes been any redder Stan would have suspected demonic possession instead of regular possession. Before he could ask if he was okay, Ben sat up and handed Eddie a glass of water.

“Thanks, man.”

Ben made brief eye contact with Stan before giving Eddie’s arm a gentle pat. “How’s the migraine?” _Oh, you asshole_.

A little smile tugged at Eddie’s lips. “Gone!” He busted into a grin. “It’s not Excedrin, but it’s not so bad.”

“Good.” Ben returned to his lounging position, folding his arms behind his head just to be _extra_ nonchalant, _surely._  “Mike’s gonna be back soon, so hopefully,” he trailed off to yawn for a moment, “you won’t tear up his pantry.”

“Can’t keep me away from two different types of flour. I’m always jonesing for dry food staples.” Eddie had a permanent giggle in his voice which would have been cute if he wasn’t high off his ass. _Okay, it’s still cute_. He set the water glass back on the coffee table and flopped right on top of Ben.

Stan's phone buzzed twice.

“Text Mike and ask him to pick up some bird seed for Stan.”

“Watch your mouth, Eddie,” Stan said evenly. He snatched his phone up and flipped it open and Eddie went back to giggling.

 

>What gives, dude? Where are you?

>Stan.

>I’M SERIOUS.

>You do NOT want to ignore me right now.

 

>Ben’s high and he got Eddie high and now they’re snuggling and being shit heads.

>Can this wait?

 

>Eddie got high?

>He’s not dead?

 

>He had a migraine and Ben

 

A quick glance up had Stan ready to grab a broom and pry them apart.

 

>probably shotgunned him

 

>...

>You HAVE to get on Skype.

>Please.

>We’re dying here.

 

>”We’re?”

 

 

Curious as he was, Stan could barely focus with all of the gratified moans and wet noises coming from the couch. _We haven’t even been here two hours, for fuck’s sake._ Eddie had one hand tangled in Ben’s hair and god knew where the other one went. He pushed his lips needily against Ben’s, catching his mouth in short, rough kisses. _Good fucking god, I forgot about the two of them - they’re like magnets_. Ben’s jeans were already loose on his hips and Eddie’s relentless grinding was threatening to push them the rest of the way down - all their enthusiastic ass-grabbing wasn’t helping, either.

 

>Well, they’re going at it.

 

>Get. On. Skype. You. Dick.

 

>Fuck you.

 

Rummaging around in his luggage for a damn laptop was the last fucking thing Stan wanted to do. He squirmed in his chair, scooting down until his ass was hanging just off the edge of the seat cushion. Eddie let Ben’s mouth go long enough for the both of them to tug their shirts over their heads. _Fuck_ . Stan pawed at the front of his pants. _Fuck, fuck, fuck_. His phone vibrated. _I don’t care, Trashmouth, I don’t fucking care_. _Eddie’s about to dry hump Ben into dust like it’s prom night and I can’t fucking take it._ Ben was grabbing at Eddie’s waistband, and his hips, and back to the waistband again - he finally began fumbling the button on his jeans open. _Oh shit, goddamnit_. Stan’s pants were down around his thighs in a hot second. The look on Eddie’s face when he noticed Stan shoving his hand down the front of his boxers was -

“Hey, sorry I took so -”

They froze.

“Long.”

Stanley Uris, with one hand wrapped around his dick, slowly turned his head to look at Mike Hanlon, who was standing in the doorway with a bag of groceries.

Eddie and Ben were staring at each other with wide, hazy eyes, like a couple of stupid, horny deer.

“I’m going to put this away. I’ll be there in 2 minutes.”

Confirming looks were exchanged. Stan, Eddie, and Ben scrambled to their feet.

While the other two dashed down the hallway to Mike’s room, Stan sent Richie a final text.

 

>I’m getting on.

 

He grabbed his laptop on his way by, clicking it open and almost kneeing a potted plant over in his haste. Mike was a saint and one tiny fraction of his sainthood was attributed to the fact that he kept his modem in his bedroom. Ben and Eddie had resumed undressing each other, still intermittently kissing like newlyweds. _They’re impossible, I swear_. There was some clutter on Mike’s desk that Stan would undoubtedly deal with later but he swept all of it onto the floor for now.

“What are you up to?”

Stan dropped his ass onto Mike’s swivel chair. “I’m not one hundred percent sure.” He snapped the ethernet cable into place. The "incoming call" jingle blared out of his speakers right away.

Ben snorted. “Are you Skyping? What, you got a business meeting or something?”

_“Serious business, Haystack.”_

“Haha - am I going to have to beep him while I get fucked?”

“I told you Eddie was high,” Stan muttered.

 _“All in good fun, my friend.”_ Richie adjusted his laptop, re-aiming the camera. _“I can barely see you, Staniel, turn a fuckin’ light on.”_

“Hey, everybody’s beautiful with the lights out,” Eddie said in an exaggeratedly sensual voice.

Mike hit the lights on his way in. “In this house, we do it with the lights on.”

“We were waiting for Mike to get back.”

_“Gee, party pooper, I wish you would’ve told me sooner. Poor Bevvie’s about to lose her mind -”_

Stan's cheeks flushed. (Ben made a strangled noise somewhere behind him.) “I wish _you_ told _me_ sooner! What the fuck, Richie?”

“Where’s Bevvie? Lemme talk to Bevvie.”

“Eddie, pull your pants up -”

“No!”

Richie turned his head and made a display of inhaling before he shouted, _“Stan’s done being a fuckass!”_

“Don’t you even -”

A gingery blur collided with Richie, cutting him off. When the connection finally caught up, Beverly had him in a headlock. The camera quality was kind of shitty but Stan could tell she was wearing lacy panties. _Those look familiar_. _“Quit winding Stan up, dipshit!”_ It occurred to him that they were on Richie’s bed.

Eddie threw his arms around Stan’s neck, resting his chin on his shoulder. “Hi, Bevvie.”

 _“Did Ben get you high?”_ He nodded, rubbing his cheek against Stan’s. _Personal. Space._ _“Feel okay?”_

“Very okay.” His arms tightened around his neck - not too hard but hard _enough_. “I love you.”

 _“Love you too, Eds.”_ Beverly covered her mouth, half-turning to Richie. _“He’s extra cute right now, oh my god.”_

Richie sneered at her. _“You two are so gay.”_ She gave him a flat look and Stan found himself doing the same. Richie looked a little cowed and made a noise under his breath. _“Hey, Bill! Did you die in there?”_

_“No.”_

“Oh. Hi, Bill.”

Bill shot Stan a little salute while the others piped in their hello’s. _“N-nuh-not sure how we swung this one.”_ Richie shrugged and scampered back to yank Bill onto his bed by his lapels. He looked ready to say something else, but Richie gave him a big, loud kiss and began undressing him.

Beverly shifted her eyes in their direction, still facing the laptop on her knees. _“Glad we caught you at a good time.”_

“Good as it gets,” Stan patted Eddie and shrugged him off.

“I love how you smell, man.”

“That’s nice,” he muttered. Eddie sighed deeply and shuffled back to Mike’s bed. A cursory glance at the little window on the bottom gave him an eyeful of Ben and Mike removing the last of his clothes.

_“You okay, Stan?”_

He looked up at Beverly, startled. There was no way he was about to start venting and bring down _both_ rooms. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m just...shitty week.” _Don’t stare at her tits, don’t stare at her tits_ \- “I’ll be fine. Probably just...sleep it off…”

 _“Poor Stan. We’ll take care of you.”_ She smiled and he nearly melted into his seat. Richie pinned a very amused Bill on his back behind her, shouting something in a Voice. _John Wayne again? God, I hate it when he does that_. _“You gonna stay there?”_

Stan looked over his shoulder and caught Eddie straddling and kissing the air out of dear, sweet Mike Hanlon. They were still trying to get Eddie’s briefs off but they were caught on his hard-on and he refused to pull away from Mike. “I think so.”

Ben grabbed onto Eddie’s hips and yanked him back. He gasped playfully, sarcastically commenting on how rough his hands were. _If Ben ever gets him high again, I swear I’m gonna kill him_. The three of them couldn’t stop laughing and it looked like a gag reel from a gay porno - not that he ever messed with that stuff. It wasn’t really necessary with their crazy arrangement.

_“Stanley.”_

He looked back to Beverly and made a sad, dry attempt at swallowing. “Yeah?”

 _“Turn it so I can see a little better.”_ He had no idea why his hands were shaking but he did as he was told. _“Perfect.”_ She sat back on her heels.

If it was just them, Stan would probably make a dumb joke about her bra being way too small for her and then toss the offending thing into the closet where it belonged but he was trapped between two different threesomes and he honestly felt like dying. She reached behind her back and the anticipation alone made his cock twitch in his briefs. _Joke’s on me, guess my pants are too small ha ha ha_. “When the fuck are they gonna invent better cameras,” he said. _I could get a clearer picture on a fucking potato._

 _“Not soon enough.”_ Beverly was holding her bra in place. _“Come on. You show me yours and I’ll show you mine.”_

“I think that’s the dirtiest thing you’ve ever said to me.” It absolutely wasn’t but it felt like the right thing to say. He got a laugh out of her so it was fine by him. Stan had to lift his hips to get his pants down but it was clearly high enough for her because the bra was tossed. Richie griped when it hit him but Beverly ignored him. _God, I hope you’re free in two weeks_. “Panties off.”

_“Shirt off.”_

“Deal.”

Stan worked his buttons open as quickly and deftly as possible while Beverly slipped out of her panties. He licked a stripe across his palm. _This isn’t fair_. It was admittedly embarrassing to have the camera angled just enough that the tip of his dick was visible while he started beating off, but that didn’t matter for a goddamn second because Beverly was propped on her elbows at a lovely, revealing angle. Something about watching her touch herself made him forget to breathe like a normal fucking human being.

_“Close your mouth, Stan.”_

His mouth snapped shut. She cupped her breast with her free hand, rolling onto her shoulder to give him the clearest view possible. Stan bit his lip and tried matching the steady movement of her fingers sliding against her clit, down to dip inside of her. He noticed her mouth was hanging open ( _hypocrite._ ) and turned his head.

_Holy fucking shit._

Eddie was on all fours taking Mike all the way back into his throat while Ben was sitting back on his knees watching them with heavy-lidded eyes. They were in the heat of it - all three of them completely hard, Mike’s head thrown back, his flushed cheeks - Stan licked his hand again before going for quicker strokes.

 _“He’s too good at sucking cock,”_ Beverly drawled throatily through the speaker. _“Almost as good as he licks out…”_

_God, yes._

“You good, Eddie?” Ben said gently. Eddie gave him a thumbs up and he fought back weak laughter. “I’ll go easy, alright?”

Eddie drew off of Mike with a soft gasp as Ben slid a finger into his ass. “Whoa, whoa! Been a while, man. Ease up.”

“Sorry.”

Mike was tiredly gaping at them, groaning softly while Eddie rubbed gentle circles just beneath the head of his cock. Stan realized with some disappointment that he’d never had Eddie with anyone else. He’d never watched him go down on him while someone else fingered his ass or fucked him from behind. He’d never given Mike head, either. Ben and Stan together, on the other hand, had hit almost every base there was. He couldn’t decide who in their little pile he envied most. Stan knew for a fact that he was jealous of Richie who was about to fuck Beverly from behind. _Right into the fucking mattress_.

Eddie licked Mike right up the middle, taking him back into his mouth. Stan couldn’t look away from the perfect angles of Mike’s hips, following the v right to Eddie’s hot little mouth.

Stan abruptly drew his hand away before he came all over himself. _You’re not going to be the first one finished -_

_“You can fuck me harder than that, can’t you?”_

_“Thought I was being courteous,”_ Richie growled. _“But, you’re right.”_

A loud slap followed by a high pitched moan almost forced him back to jerking off. _FUCK._ By that point, Mike had both hands fisted in Eddie’s hair, Ben was three fingers deep and Stan had no idea where to look or what to do with himself. It wasn’t like he'd never sat one out before, but the fact that he couldn’t actually touch or finish with the other three was maddening.

“C’mon, Ben, I’m good, I’m good.”

Stan watched Beverly and Richie watching Ben roll on a condom and nearly gave himself whiplash turning his attention back and forth between the two.

“Oh god -” Eddie’s voice was shallow. “I forgot how -” Ben pushed into him in one go, smacking his hips against Eddie’s ass and shoving him forward into Mike. You’d never know he had asthma the way he sounded in bed.

_“Get over here, Bill.”_

_“I c-can’t see, Rich, m-m-move your ass -”_

_“Will you shut up and let Bev suck your dick, please?”_

Stan distractedly took himself in hand again. “Fuck it.” He used what pre-come he had to slick himself down and, with incredible restraint, slowly fucked into his grip. “I hate you guys, you know that?”

Bill laughed weakly in his periphery while Mike stroked across Eddie’s cheek. His lower back was curved up to catch every thrust from Ben and the poor guy had crashed out against Mike’s thigh. If it weren’t for his hand between his own legs, Stan would have thought he was knocked out. _Man, he's gonna feel that tomorrow_. Beverly was in a similar state of listlessness.

“S-sorry, Mike, I’m -”

“It’s okay.” It clearly wasn’t because he was back in Eddie's mouth and it drew an endearingly strangled noise out of his throat. “ _Fuck!_ ”

 _“He’s got Mike swearing during sex, now?”_ Richie panted, sounding very close to one of his own. _“Th-that’s how you say “fuck” without stuttering for 10 minutes, Big Bill, take note -”_ Bill grabbed a handful of Richie’s mussed hair and kissed him so roughly that he squeaked in shock. There were few things more satisfying than shutting Richie up. _Very few things. Very, very few…_

Stan felt his own dizzying pressure building up too quick and backed off again. He prided himself on his stamina but something about the entire set-up had cut him down to nothing.

Eddie came up gasping, either for air or because he was about to come. _Both, apparently_. Ben was pounding into him, hitting him right where he needed it - “oh my god, Ben, oh fuck, I’m so cl-”

Before he could finish, Ben groaned sharply, thrusting forward slow and hard. “Fuck, Eds, I’m sorry -” Any choice swears and threats were knocked out of Eddie by his final few strokes. _First man out_. He wrapped his arms around Eddie’s chest, pressing his scruffy cheek against his shoulder while he came down.

In spite of how pissed Eddie looked, he reached back and brushed his fingers through Ben’s shaggy hair. “Goddamnit, why are you like this?” He pulled out, apologizing again. Eddie moaned grumpily.

“I fucked up. Call fuckin’...owesies.” Ben was eyeing the laptop screen as he spoke, watching Beverly gasping loudly and trying her best to jerk Bill off with her cheek mashed against his hip. _Okay, nope. I can’t look. I’m not looking._ Her shrill yelp and ecstatic moans brought everything to a halt. _Second out_.

“F-fair enough.” Eddie exhaled loudly, managing to tear his eyes away from the call window. “Mike, can I -” His mouth fell open as he was pulled into a deep kiss, coherent words replaced with a desperate whine.

They lived the closest together but saw each other the least and it showed whenever they fucked around. Eddie Kaspbrak wasn’t a “submissive” person. No one took control unless he let them, with two exceptions. Mike Hanlon was one of them. Eddie rolled onto his back and didn’t say a word, wrapping his legs around Mike’s waist. He was fully seated in two seconds, gently nudging his hips against Eddie's thighs. The steady stream of breathy nonsense coming out of Eddie’s mouth triggered a very fond memory of bending the guy over the back of Richie’s couch after a particularly eventful night of clubbing. Watching him finish a fight that Trashmouth started had Stan so mind-blowingly turned on that they almost didn’t make it out of the cab.

“Oh god, oh god, Mike, you're -”

“Hold your knees back for me.” The firm tone of Mike's voice had Stan ready to come right then and there.

The force of Mike's thrusts rippled through Eddie’s muscles and chopped his voice up into little rhythmic segments, shattering his composure and dignity. His hand was unevenly sliding over his cock, strokes falling naturally in tandem with Stan’s - he decided he was ready to tap out at the same time, matching his speed. “I'm - gon - gonna - cum -” Mike hooked one of Eddie's legs over his shoulder. _He's definitely going to feel it tomorrow_. “Fuckfuckfuck -”

_“B-b-be-bev, don't s-stuh-stop -”_

_“You're taking us so well, Bevvie. God, you always fucking do, jesus fuck -”_

Beverly’s desperate moan warbled through the lo-fi laptop speakers while Eddie swore, his voice driven up an octave or two.

Stan gave out on cue.

He bit his lip, barely hearing Eddie, Richie, and Bill losing their fucking minds while he finally arched his tight hips and came into his hand with a sharp grunt. His vision swam for a moment while he tried to come out of his vacant state and snap his attention back to the others. Stan felt a pang of envy at the sight of Bill, Beverly, and Richie lazily pulling apart, wishing he could be in two places at once. Poor Bev plopped flat on her stomach and groaned into the bed sheets while the other two chuckled affectionately.

“Jesus…” Stan murmured. Mike was still going, almost painfully drawing out the wave of Eddie’s climax. _Last man standing. Congratulations_. The glint of Eddie’s cum splayed across his chest got him thinking about their past romps again. Mike’s ass tightening up on his final thrust proved to be more important, however. If there was anyone who could make bottoming in missionary a pure delight, it was Mike Hanlon. _He could make frozen yogurt interesting_.

“Hey, Stan, close your mouth.”

“Shut the hell up, Ben,” he said, somewhat breathless.

Sometime during the clusterfuck, Ben had snuck off to clean himself up. He was reclined on Mike’s bed in his boxers, propped up on his elbows and watching Stan with amused interest, still clearly baked. He grinned cheekily, shifting to toss him a towel. “Impressive self-control, my dude.”

“Tch. Yeah.” He snorted. “Love to die.”

Mike ruffled Eddie’s hair, laughing airily. “You okay, dude?”

“Please, sir, may I have another?”

Richie’s cackle startled everyone in the room and they quickly broke into a standard Losers Club giggle fest. People thought they were insane when they were all together which was perfectly understandable - they’d always been a bunch of weirdos who fell apart at the most arbitrary jokes. If any one of them found something wildly hilarious, it spread among them like a virus no matter how inconsequential or stupid it seemed.

Eddie caught the towel Stan threw his way and distractedly wiped at his chest. “I’m...gonna go take a, uh...a...standing bath.”

“A shower?”

Eddie stumbled on his way out of the room, muttering, “yeah, that.”

Beverly’s voice was garbled (lying face down will do that) but it sounded like “bye, guys.”

“Seeya, Bev.” Ben called.

“Don’t break her, you two,” Stan said. Richie blew a raspberry at him while Bill nodded, looking subtly devious. _How do I always forget that they’re nearly identical when they’re up to shit_? Beverly mumbled something loudly. Stan assumed it was _“I’m resilient!”_ He chuckled. “You are, I’m sorry.”

They all said their good-byes before Stan shut his laptop. The stony memory of his crap week had been replaced with hunger. _Sex first, food second_. “Alright,” he said pleasantly. “Who’s for spring rolls?”

Mike and Ben silently raised their hands.

 

**END.**

**Author's Note:**

> TA-DAAA poop ending. I finished everything else a week or two ago and just kind of left the ending open. idk man.
> 
> Anyway damn I’m just shaking my hands out here. Writing all seven with a barrier thrown in was kinda tough. Hope it wasn’t super confusing. Like, naming everyone, making the dialogue recognizable, and not piling the same sentence structure up too high is one of the hard parts of writing the OT7 but here I am.


End file.
